Ebay Irritation

Ok, after several years of using Ebay, I must admit I have soured on using it. Three weeks ago I won two vintage Chinese lanterns which I intended to use for The Cure. After two weeks and still no items I e-mailed the seller and asked when they had been sent. She told me not to "get mad" and stated that she hadn't sent them out yet. Not only that, but she doesn't see anything wrong with not sending items out upwards for SIX WEEKS and blamed me for not telling her I needed them right away. What the??? I don't expect items I win right away - I expect them within a realistic time frame. So another week goes by and still no lanterns after she said she's immediately send them out. I requested some sort of proof they were sent and she said she wants them sent back to her!!! Huh? How can I send them back when I don't have them yet?? Of course I am hesitant to leave negative feedback for this person because I know she will just leave retaliatory feedback for me. It's just a screwed up system that far too many people take advantage of. What ever happened to decent customer service? I have also sold on Ebay and can see the other side as well. I've had customers e-mail after three days and harass me for not receiving something, but that's three days - not three weeks. What am I missing here?